Sunday, May 23, 2010

Crazy Scraps/Weird Validations

I don't know how many of you experience strange and random validation of your art, but I often do.

Last week, I took some silver scraps into Lonnie's to trade for more silver. As I was gathering them all together (they used to have one spot--what happened?!), I noticed how crazy they were. Big, messy coils from some failed attempt at whatever idea I had at the time. I often mess up quite a bit of wire on weird ideas that usually work, but sometimes really, really don't. And as I looked at my ridiculous pile, I felt that little brush of validation. In art, at least, I don't fear failure. I've managed to work out in my art what I'm trying to work out in my life in general. It's something I felt God say to me a while ago about various things I'm attempting in my life. I told Him about being afraid of failing, and it felt like He said, "Don't worry about it. If you don't make it, it's not another time you failed--it's another time you tried." If anything, I suppose it's a spectacular thing to keep trying in the midst of such a train wreck. LoL. And I like to think that even if I never quite make it with a lot of this junk, I'll be taking some pretty spectacular scraps up to Heaven with me, and probably a lot more finished work than I think.

Also, I was looking around online at some random beginning polymer clay artists. I liked a lot of what I saw. They made beautiful, beautiful work. But as I looked, I saw just how many of them really seem to be channeling the books I've seen, and aren't quite doing their own thing yet. Their days will come, I'm sure! But I sort of had to think of all the stuff I make--that stuff I feel isn't too special most of the time. I tend to feel like what I make is mostly lame. But this exercise gave me some new eyes. I've been doing polymer clay seriously now for about 6 years. I have so few things I've made based on a book. Virtually all of what I have now is stuff that is mine. It's me! And it was kind of exciting to have that validation, to realize that I don't think I'm a beginner anymore. I think, even though I don't necessarily have a "style" yet, what I'm making is still mine. And it's really cool to realize that.

I just should on myself too much. I think we all do. Ah, well. I'm sharing to hopefully give someone else some validation. Don't be afraid of failure. Don't belittle your work. You're a beautiful, unique creation, and your own creations are awesome. ^_^

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